A Nice Shade
by ShoeQueen
Summary: Being invisible has some unexpected side effects. Some good, and some not. Inspired by a Twitter conversation about the shower scene in '200'
1. Frustration

**Disclaimer: For some reason, these characters are still not mine. I know, Right?**

 **Special thanks to Amara, Webbo, and 3 Star Jeneral for all the help, and encouragement.**

 **All mistakes are mine, and mine alone.**

 **Reviews appreciated.**

* * *

2005

Colonel Jack O'Neill walked into the locker rooms, softly whistling the theme song from The Simpson's. He'd found out making a bit of noise was the best way to keep people from bumping into him at the SGC. He was used to people moving aside for him when he came down the halls, what with birds on his uniform and all, but since he'd accidentally become invisible, he'd been banged up more than a few times as someone literally ran into him (Daniel), smacked him with a large wrench (Siler), knocked him over while running to the control room as the klaxons blared (Teal'c), or simply swung their hands out in a wide motion, making firm contact with his face (that young, new airman, who was built like a tank, and whose name Jack had not yet learned). While Jack certainly enjoyed certain aspects of being invisible, like sneaking out of, or falling asleep during briefs, or staring at Carter without being concerned over getting caught, he was also beginning to see the down side. To combat all the run ins, he'd started whistling or humming as he walked down the halls, to let people know he was there, and to step around him, or stop to let him pass.

As Jack walked into the locker room, he heard the shower running in the back. He thought nothing of it, and continued on to his locker to grab a book he'd been reading. Despite what everyone thought, he did actually have a brain in his head, and liked to read. His favorite books were biographies, and histories, not that he'd tell Daniel that. He used to read scifi, but after actually living it for the past few years, he'd lost his taste for the genre. Nope, his life was far more exciting, and dangerous than anything a writer could come up with. He was also offended on behalf of Thor at the way little gray aliens never seemed to want to do more than probe humans. That simply wasn't true. Okay, so there was that time with Loki, but Jack was pretty sure he hadn't been probed. At least not that he remembered. He shuddered at the thought, and had just slammed the locker shut when, around the corner came his lovely 2IC, wrapped in nothing but a towel. The moment she saw the book floating in the air, she'd given a little shriek that made Jack smile, and turned, headed back toward the showers. Jack rolled his eyes as he followed her. "Carter?"

"Sir," she called from behind the curtain of one of the show stalls. "What are you doing in here? Didn't you see the sign was flipped to 'women' on the door?"

Jack realized he hadn't even looked, but rather barreled right in. "Um, no sorry. Guess I should pay more attention. So, why so skittish, Carter? It's not like I haven't seen you not fully clothed before. We've spent seven years working in the field together. I've seen more of your skin-" He stopped himself quickly. It was true that while working in the field, getting captured, and occasionally tortured, there'd been many moments when plenty of flesh had been exposed, and there were also moments he accidentally happened to see more than Carter probably would have wanted him to. Not on purpose, but he'd found that he'd stared a little longer than he should have on more than one occasion.

"Well, not at the SGC, Sir!" Sam called out indignantly. "Now, can you please go so I can get dressed?" She added a quick "Sir," after a beat.

"I don't know," he said slowly. "I mean, you're a captive audience, and it would seem a waste to toss away such an opportunity."

"Sir, this isn't the time for jokes. Would you please leave? I've got work to do."

"Fine, fine, I'm going." He turned and walked toward the exit. Just before he left though, he turned back, calling, "You wear a towel well, Carter! You should think about starting a trend."

Sam blew out a breath at his words and chuckled to herself. Leave it to Colonel O'Neill to catch her in the shower. Her mind suddenly took a turn she hadn't expected, causing her face to flame when she suddenly wondered what would happen if he'd joined her in the shower, visible, of course. She imagined his lean body pushing her against the wall, his mouth on her skin, as the hot water poured over them, making their skin slick and warm. Crap! She shook her head to clear the image. If she kept that up, she'd have to turn the shower back on with very, very cold water.

"Oh, come on!" Sam said irritably when she exited the shower the next day, to find Colonel O'Neill's coffee mug floating in the air.

"Well, hello, Carter," he said from a few feet away. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you. Ah, no, that would be you, wouldn't it? And look, you _can't_ see me! Convenient."

She turned around, and pulled the curtain firmly behind her. "What are you doing here this time, Sir?"

Jack shrugged, though he knew she couldn't see it. He hadn't walked in on her on purpose again, but when he heard her singing, he knew he had to stick around to tease her. "Carter, how could I resist the lure of the concert you were giving in there? I mean, that's some voice you've got. I'd say a cross between an angry cat and a howler monkey."

"Hey!" Sam poked her head out and scowled at him.

"What? It's nice to know you aren't perfect at everything. I mean with the blowing up of suns, rewriting the laws of physics, and saving the planet on almost a weekly basis, you can make a guy feel pretty useless. Now, I know there's at least one thing I know I can do better than you. I can actually sing, and it won't scare small children or cause dogs to howl. It's a good feeling."

Sam rolled her eyes in the direction of the coffee cup. "First of all, I do not sound like a cross between an angry cat and a howler monkey; second, I've heard you sing, and you're no Bing Crosby; and third, get out!"

He shook his head and smiled. He was thoroughly enjoying himself. Oh, he knew it was just a bit over the line to be in there while she was showering, but he couldn't resist teasing her after her reaction yesterday. "Bing Crosby? You surprise me, Carter. I didn't think anyone besides me listened to old Bing any more."

"My dad liked Bing, and used to play his music in the kitchen on Sunday mornings while he and mom made breakfast."

Jack wondered what her life had been like before the death of her mother. Had she sung into a hairbrush in front of a mirror? Had she danced in the kitchen with Jacob? It was a nice thought. "Well, I'm glad to know you listened to more than disco and punk rock growing up."

Sam wondered how this insane conversation had gone on this long. She knew he was only being his goofy self, and would never do anything disrespectful, but she was kind of flattered that he'd stayed to joke with her. "For the record, I never listened to punk, now can you please leave so I can get dressed?"

"You're no fun, Carter, you know that?"

She shook her head. "So I've been told."

"You know, you should really work on lightening up. Live a little. Have some fun. Fish."

Sam watched the coffee mug float away. She caught on to the last word, and wished she'd taken him up on one of the many invitations he'd issued to go to his cabin. "I'm plenty fun, Sir. Plenty."

The coffee mug stopped briefly, and turned a half circle. She assumed he was now facing her direction. She could almost feel his eyes twinkling at her. "You keep telling yourself that, Carter. Just keep telling yourself." The mug turned back around, and headed toward the door. Sam laughed when she heard him start singing Bing Crosby's _Slow Boat to China_ , as he left the room. She smiled all the way back to her lab, humming the tune softly, and thinking about the words.

 _I'd like to get you,_

 _On a slow boat to China,_

 _All to myself alone,_

 _Get you and keep you,_

 _In my arms, ever more,_

 _Leave all your lovers,_

 _Weeping on a faraway shore._

Sam smiled at the words, and thought they were very appropriate for how she felt, no matter how in appropriate those feelings may be. Secretly, she'd certainly like to get him alone. Maybe not on a slow boat to China, but a deserted planet sounded nice.

* * *

Three days later, Sam was no longer amused by the Colonel's shower prank. Every time she'd stepped out, she heard him make some crazy remark. She usually liked to have the locker room to herself, so she could think, and unless they were coming back from a mission, when she was staying on base, which was more often than not, always timed her showers for when the locker room would be empty. She was beginning to rethink that strategy. She stood under the spray of the water, trying to think of a way they could convince him to become visible again. She'd figured out how to reverse the problem the day before, but he was resistant to the idea. He was apparently enjoying invisibility a bit too much. He'd gone on about how it would be great for surprising the enemy, and several other things, including fulfilling some weird fantasy about being a ninja. She thought being invisible was the only way Jack O'Neill could ever be a ninja, because while he was great at being silent and sneaking up on people, you couldn't help but notice him and his commanding presence when he entered a room. When he was visible, of course. A banging sound, followed by a mumbled curse brought her out of her reverie. She pulled back just the top part of the shower curtain to peek around the room. When she didn't see anyone, she had a sneaking suspicion she probably wasn't alone. "Sir, is that you?" She called.

"Nope," Jack said softly after a few seconds.

She rolled her eyes and let out a huff. "Honestly, Sir," she said crossly, "I've had enough. You've had your fun, but you need to get out."

Thinking he hadn't had the kind of fun he often imagined having with her, he responded. "Okay, okay. I get it; you don't want to be fun. I'll just go…shall I?" His voice sounded slightly hopeful.

Sam felt a little guilty, about being so harsh, but told herself this couldn't continue. She'd been having far too many fantasies, both in her dreams and occasionally while staring at the walls of her lab, about a certain Colonel and showers. If he didn't leave her alone, she might go mad, or do something totally insane, like reach out and find him, then pull him into the shower with her, visible or not. "Yes. You shall." She said firmly, and listened as he left the locker room. They really had to figure out a way to get him to agree to reverse the process, before she lost her mind. They'd thought about doing it without his agreement, but apparently he had to be the one to trigger it, or it wouldn't work. Sam grabbed her towel and dried herself off, rather more roughly than normal. They had to get this worked out, and soon, before she went insane, or attacked him in a fit of lust.


	2. The Tables Turn

**Disclaimer: Still not my characters.**

* * *

Jack stood just inside the door of the locker room, poking his head out into the hall, not that anyone could see him, hoping Daniel or Teal'c would pass by. He'd already used the locker room phone to call Daniel's lab, Teal'c room, the gym, commissary, and control room, but no one had seen either of them. Figured. They were never around when he needed them, but always under foot when he didn't. Okay, it was mostly Daniel who was under foot, but still. He muttered under his breath how he was going to make them all get little tracking chips that buzzed when he pressed a button on a remote. He would be the only one allowed a remote, of course. He let out a soft curse when as he saw Carter turn the corner and head his way. "Perfect," he said to himself, rolling his eyes. The one person he didn't really want to see at this moment was the only one he could find. He debated for a moment about whether he should call out to her or not, but in the end decided he needed help, and it wasn't like she could actually see him anyway.

"Psst! Hey, Carter," he called out softly. He'd waved his arm, but realized what a useless motion that was, and dropped it to his side.

"Carter!" He called louder, when it seemed she hadn't heard him.

Sam stopped and looked around. "Sir? Is that you?"

"You know anyone else who's invisible?" Jack asked.

"No Sir, I guess not. Um, where are you?"

"Over here," Jack said.

Sam raised her eyebrows. "I'm going to need a little more info, Sir. I can't see you, remember?"

"Of course I remember. I haven't gone completely senile yet. I'm over here. In the locker room."

"I'm not going to take a shower, Sir, so you can just leave."

"I'm not here to spy on you, Carter. I need your help. I've got…well, I've got a problem."

Walking to the door of the locker rooms, Sam let out a soft 'oh.' In front of her was a floating white towel, wrapped around what she assumed was Colonel O'Neill's waist. "A towel, Sir? Really?"

"Well, I could stand here naked, I suppose, but that might be weird."

Sam's mouth went dry at the thought. After all the shower fantasies she'd had lately, the last thing she needed was to think about was him standing naked in front of her. She cleared her throat before speaking. "Did you need something, Sir, or are you just bored?"

"Come on, Carter, give me _some_ credit."

She stood, waiting, finally raising her eyebrows in question.

Jack ran a hand over his face and through his hair. "Okay, here's the thing, oh, and no laughing, that's an order. I kind of lost my clothes."

Sam's eyebrows shot up into her bangs, so that they were not longer visible. "You…lost…your clothes? How?" She hadn't given that a thought. When he'd triggered the machine, his clothing had turned invisible too. "Wait, have you been wearing the same clothes for the last three weeks? Ewww."

"I've been washing them, while I took a shower, and drying them with the blow dryer. I'm not a caveman you know."

"I don't know. I've seen your house. It's not exactly going to be featured in Better Homes and Gardens."

Jack let out an audible sigh. "Hardy-har. Now, can you please help me out here? I'm kind of flapping in the breeze as it were."

"So, how exactly did you lose them?" She asked, ignoring his last remark.

Jack rolled his eyes. "I didn't wash them today, but put them on the bench. Some others came in while I was showering, and they must have knocked them off, because I can't find them."

Trying not to smile, Sam bit her lip. "Well, we should just be able to feel around and find them."

"Oh, hey, why didn't I think of that?" He asked sarcastically.

Ignoring him, Sam walked over to the bench and dropped to all fours, directly in front of this locker. Jack almost moved to help her, but stood stock still admiring her six. Dear heavens, it really was sheer perfection. He silently thanked whatever force in the universe that would create such beauty.

"You sure you left them here?" She glanced up at him.

Snapping himself out of his admiration, he moved to stand closer to her. "Of course. I laid them directly in front of my locker, specifically so I'd be able to find them. I'm telling you, they're not there."

"Well, they couldn't just disappear," she told him.

"You can't see me, but I'm giving you a look," he replied.

She chuckled, still feeling around on the floor. "Right. Yeah, right. You didn't actually disappear though, I mean you're still physically there, we just can't see you due to the waves you're-"

Jack threw his hands up over his ears. "Ack! Ack! Ack! I don't care how it works, Carter, I just need to find my clothes. I mean I guess I could just go full commando. That would be kind of cool. Literally, and that's not a word I just bandy about."

She stopped, and looked up at him, or rather where the towel stood. It took all of her willpower not to think about hooking her fingers under the edge, pulling it off, and running her hands down his naked flesh.

"Um, I'm not sure that's such a good idea." Certainly not good for her mental lucidity anyway.

"Why not?" he asked, curious about the sudden flush that crept up her face. "It's not like anyone can see me. I'm the only one who will know I'm naked." He motioned toward her. "And you of course." The idea of that made him smile ridiculously. Of course, now this might make him quite happy that she couldn't see him at times, as certain parts of his body frequently responded to her in ways that were completely not appropriate for a CO.

Sam coughed at the thought of knowing he was walking around with no clothes on. It was terribly erotic, and she wasn't sure she'd make it through her days. She'd be too busy fantasizing, more than usual, to get any kind of work completed. "Um…well…I …uh. Yeah, no, not a good idea." Good grief, what was wrong with her? _Get it together, Sam,_ she admonished herself. If only he weren't so damn sexy. Even invisible, he made the hair on the back of neck stand on end.

"Aww, come on, Carter, it's not like people could see."

Sam shook her head, trying to think of a reason, any reason, to get him to put some clothes on. Her mind grabbed onto and idea. "Sir, we don't really know how long this will last. What if…what if you suddenly become visible in front of that nice lady who makes the pies in the commissary, or the control room next to Walter?"

Jack gave a short laugh. "Well, Mrs. Edwards might give me extra pie from now on, and Walter might find a whole new respect for me."

"Sir…" She groaned, as the brief thought that he might be standing in her lab when he became visible, flashed through her mind.

"Fine, fine," he said. "You probably have a point, what with that big ol' brain of yours, and all, but we still have the problem of my missing clothes."

She pursed her lips, in the way she did when she was thinking, or rather thinking even more, and Jack smiled. Her brilliance constantly amazed him. When they'd first met, he was certain he was going to be saddled with an annoying, know it all scientist, who would constantly complain, and prove to be a huge pain in the ass. He'd been pleasantly surprised by her abilities, and humility, and had become fond of her almost immediately. He'd become more than fond of her after a few months, and then those feelings had crossed a line that should never be crossed between two officers serving in the same chain of command. He'd tried to deny the feelings, and then to put them aside, once they'd had to make their confessions with that damn zebra machine, but he'd failed miserably, and working beside her each and every day was both wonderful and torturous.

"Sir?" Carter's voice brought him out of his musings. She was looking at him expectantly.

"Huh? Sorry?" He asked with his usual irreverence.

Sam rolled her eyes. "I said I couldn't find them." I've looked, or rather felt around for them, and they're just not here. Are you one hundred percent sure this is where you left them?"

"Of course. I think."

"You think?" She asked skeptically.

"Every now and then," he smirked. "Only when I have to."

Sam shook her head, and smiled. "Don't hurt yourself, Sir."

"Ouch!" He said with mock sincerity. "That's not very 2IC-like of you. I think I might have to write you up for insubordination."

Coming to her feet, Sam tilted her head, and glanced quickly down at the towel, she was certain hung low on his hips. She imagined what it would be like standing there together, if he weren't invisible. Again, she pictured sliding her hand down his body, her lips pressing against his skin. Shaking her head to dispel the image, she tried to smile. "Well, you'll have to do it out of uniform, Sir. I simply can't find it."

"That's not what a man likes to hear," he told her with a smirk, as he plopped down onto the bench. "Crap. What am I supposed to do?"

Sam sat down next to him, but kept a more than normal amount of space between them. She was already feeling quite warm, and she thought if she sat any closer, she might just go up in flames. "Well, I suppose you can put a uniform on."

He turned his head toward her. "Um, isn't that the problem, Carter? I don't _have_ a uniform to put on."

"Yes, you do. You don't have to wear your invisible uniform, just wear one of your others."

Jack raised his eyebrows, even though he knew she couldn't see them. "You want me to just saunter down the halls of the SGC in a uniform that looks like no one is wearing it? Don't you think that would be, oh, I don't know, weird?"

"As opposed to you being completely invisible?" She countered.

"Touché, Major." Standing, he opened his locker, pulled out a uniform, and began putting it on. "What?" He asked when Sam turned her back to him.

"I thought, you know, I'd give you some privacy."

Jack rolled his eyes. "For cryin' out loud, Carter, I'm invisible. You can't see anything even if you wanted to."

"Oh, I'd like to," she mumbled under her breath.

He stopped moving, staring at her back. "What was that Major?"

Sam cringed. He hadn't heard her, had he? She shook her head, not trusting her voice.

Finishing up the buttons, on his top, thinking about what he was certain he'd heard, Jack rolled up the sleeves. "Okay, it's safe to turn around," he teased.

Turning to face him, Sam couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" he asked, turning this way and that, trying to see if he'd missed a button or something.

Shaking her head, she pursed her lips to quell the laughter. "It's just…you…um. Why don't you go look in the mirror, Sir?"

Following her suggestion, he walked over to the large wall mirror and laughed along with her. Staring back at him was a uniform that moved, as if it had a mind of its own. "Yeah, I get it. This isn't going to be weird, at all!"

"Better than being naked, Sir."

"Oh, I don't know," he told her, his voice low and silky. "I can think of some instances where being naked would have distinct advantages." Sam's mouth went dry. He was moving closer to her, slowly, but with purpose. He stopped when he was only a few inches from her. "Wouldn't you agree, Carter?"

"Agree?" Her voice cracked slightly.

He moved even closer, until she could feel his breath against her ear. "Agree that being naked would have distinct advantages in certain situations?" Jack knew he was going way too far this time, but hearing what he was positive she'd said, made him somehow forget himself.

She nodded, her voice failing her. She could think of many situations where it would absolutely be an advantage; all of them centered on him.

"I thought so," he whispered huskily. He was so close; he knew he could kiss her without moving his head more than three inches. He could see pulsing her increased heartbeat in her artery, and the way her tongue just shot out to moisten her lips told him she realized it too. He started to move his head in, when he heard voices just outside the locker room.

"Dammit," he said, pulling away. He wasn't quite sure why he'd come so close to kissing her, but it seemed like a great idea in the moment. Hell, it seemed like a great idea every second of every day, but there was something in that moment that made it seem like it was more possible than ever before.

"Sam!" Daniel said, as soon as he saw her. His eyes turned to the uniform standing very close to her. "Um-Jack?"

With a lingering look, that she couldn't see, Jack stepped away. "Daniel," he drawled.

"Oh, hey, you've got a uniform on. We've been looking for you." He motioned between Teal'c and himself.

Jack smirked. "Well, I have been rather difficult to find."

"Indeed, you have, O'Neill. Most difficult." Teal'c gave a quirk of his lip.

"Very funny, Jack, but, this is serious," Daniel told him, waving around a book that was ridiculously thick. Jack thought if he lost his hold on it, Daniel just might knock himself out. "Teal'c and I have found out some stuff about the… the invisible thing. You know, translated. Teal'c's been a big help."

"And?" Sam prompted, when he stopped speaking.

Daniel jumped, startled by her question. "Oh, yeah, it's important."

More voices could be heard in the hall. "What's say we take this somewhere else, kids," Jack told them.

"I believe that would be wise, O'Neill."

Daniel looked around, surprised to see that they were standing in the locker room. "Oh, yeah. Let's go to Sam's lab. I'm sure there's more space for you to sit in hers than mine."

Jack rolled his eyes. Typical.


	3. Side Effects

**Disclaimer: Still not my characters.**

"Okay, Daniel," Jack said when they were all seated around Sam's workbench. "What's so important?"

Sam looked down at the table in front of her. She was trying to figure out what had happened, or almost happened, in the locker room. She was positive the Colonel would have kissed her if Daniel and Teal'c hadn't interrupted them. What had that been about? Not that she hadn't wanted him to kiss her, far from it, but she never thought it might actually happen, or even be something he thought about. They'd flirted a lot over the years, but he hadn't been serious about it, had he? Sure, she'd often wondered if maybe it weren't a bit more, but then told herself she was being silly, and that, while he cared for her, there would never truly be anything between them. Perhaps she'd been wrong. Or perhaps she was just thinking too hard. She looked back up at Daniel, hoping to distract herself from a line of thinking that would get her nowhere.

Daniel flipped the large tome open to about midway, and started pulling out pieces of paper, many of them scraps, that he'd written notes on. Jack knew he wasn't the most organized person when it came to note taking, but Daniel took the cake.

Leaning in to get a closer look, Jack realized one of the notes was written on the back of a gum wrapper in near microscopic print. "Have trouble finding paper, Danny–boy? I know our budget keeps getting slashed, but I'm certain we can find you something better than napkins, gum wrappers and receipts to write on."

Daniel pushed up his glasses as he glanced up. "Huh? Oh, yeah. No, I was on a roll, and simply didn't want to leave to find more, so I just grabbed whatever was lying on my desk."

Picking up one of the receipts, Jack turned it over. "Gummy bears, a bottle of sinus medication, rice milk and a box of Cheerios? Living large there Daniel! Just don't overdo it. I'd hate to have to come bail you out in the middle of the night. Who drinks rice milk anyway? I didn't even know rice could be milked. How does that work, I wonder?"

Daniel snatched it back, his face reddening slightly.

"Don't worry Daniel, I've seen receipts for a bag of Hershey's Kisses, a six pack of Guinness, and a People magazine in his car." Sam told him.

"Dammit, Carter, quit giving away my secrets. Besides, the People was for Teal'c, right buddy?"

Teal'c quirked a brow in the direction of Jack's uniform. "It was not."

Jack scoffed, his arms gesturing around in the air. "Do you not know how this game is played by now?"

Sam chuckled, and reveled in the camaraderie, but decided they really needed to know what Daniel had discovered, and put an end to their banter. "Daniel?"

"Spoil sport," she heard Jack mutter under his breath.

"Right, absolutely," Daniel agreed. He began laying his scraps of paper out into something that clearly made sense to him. Sam seemed to understand this method, but Jack thought it was totally insane. "Okay. See the problem was that I thought the language was solely ancient based, but it turns out it's more of a Latin-Ancient hybrid, that also includes some older version of Goa'uld, and pictogram style letters. Kind of like when the Egyptians moved from hieroglyphs that have their own meaning, to each glyph being more like a letter instead of just a sound. It's fascinating to see how it mirrors so many of our own languages, even though it was on a whole other planet. See, this letter, isn't a typical letter, like I thought, but instead-"

"Daniel," Jack said with measured patience. "I'm sure all this, linguisty stuff is wildly exciting to you archaeology geeks, and I mean that in the nicest way, but let's just get down to brass tacks, shall we?"

Deflating from his earlier excitement, Daniel looked down at his notes, but before he could speak again, Jack said in a kinder voice, "Maybe General Hammond could set up some sort of ancient geek night, and you can tell them all about your, um, fascinating stuff here. I'm sure they'll love it."

"You think so?" Daniel asked brightly.

"Why not?" Jack replied. He made a mental note to talk to the General. Daniel drove him crazy on a daily basis, but the least he could do was find something 'fun' for him. If you found that sort of thing fun, which Jack absolutely did not. To each his own.

"Thanks, that sounds great! So, anyway, this line here reads-"

"The point, Daniel, the point," Jack reminded him.

Shifting his notes around, Daniel picked out 2 scraps and held them up, as if to show his proof. "Basically it says that, while you're invisible, you can't-" He glanced over at Sam, clearly embarrassed. "Um, you can't, um…well, you-"

With a slightly annoyed sigh, Teal'c spoke. "What Daniel Jackson is trying, and failing, to say is that you cannot copulate, and will eventually no longer be able to enjoy sexual relations at all. It is apparently irreversible after a certain amount of time."

Sam choked, and wished the floor would open up and swallow her. Being that this was the SGC, stranger things had happened, but she had no such luck at the moment.

"I'm sorry, what?" Jack asked. He slid a quick glance over at Sam, taking in the expression on her face.

"You will no longer be able to-"

Waving his hand, or rather uniform sleeve around, Jack cut him off. "I heard what you said, Teal'c. Daniel, are you sure you translated that correctly."

"Mmm hmm," a still red faced Daniel responded. He looked up briefly when Sam coughed, but looked away almost immediately. Maybe he should have talked to Jack privately.

"But, I haven't…I mean…I don't seem to be…um, feeling the effects of it. Not that I'm having, um, sexual relations, or anything, but um, in the mornings and at other times, um, _you know_." God, he couldn't believe they were talking about this in front of Carter. Even though she couldn't see his face, he made sure not to even turn his head her way.

Daniel looked at him, or rather toward him, in confusion, until the meaning of Jack's words clicked in his head. "Oh. Oh! Yeah, well, the effects are kind of gradual. I don't know exactly how long it takes for you to notice or anything, but it will happen."

Jack stared at him for a long moment, before speaking. "And you're sure about this?"

"Yeah," Daniel replied.

"Crap," Jack grumbled.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed stoically.

There was a long silence, when Daniel spoke again. "I mean, if that's you know, not important to you then-"

Jack gave Daniel a glare, not that he could see it, but it made Jack feel better. "Not that it's your business, but yes, it kind of is, thank you."

Sam, who had been looking down during the entire conversation, certain her face was flaming red, chanced a quick glance up. Daniel seemed embarrassed, while Teal'c looked slightly amused. At the sound of a heavy sigh, she flicked her eyes to where the Colonel sat, than quickly back down at her desk.

"Well then, I guess it's settled," Daniel commented. "We'll head back to the planet, and reverse it, right?"

Jack's chair moved back and forth slightly. "Yep, guess so. Go gear up kids, Hammond will probably approve us to leave soon. Very soon, if I have anything to say about it."

When Jack, or rather his uniform, was gone, Daniel and Teal'c both turned their eyes toward Sam. Daniel's expression was questioning, while Teal'c's was stoic as ever, but there was a gleam in his eyes.

"What?" She asked, scrunching her forehead. "Why are you both looking at me, like that?"

Daniel gave her a toothy grin. "Oh, no reason. Just thinking about Jack getting so flustered over what I told him."

"Why wouldn't he be? He's-he's a man, just like everyone else. I mean, the fact that he might not be able to…you know," her face flushed, "is a big deal. I mean, I guess it's a big deal. Wouldn't it be to you? I mean, he's not, um, with anyone now, at least I don't think-not that it's any of my business of course-but he might meet someone one day, and want to…you know. "

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed it would be an issue for me, Major Carter, but I have the feeling that O'Neill has something much more imminent in mind, and is concerned about not being able to reverse the effects."

Daniel snorted. "Imminent. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. Of course I think he's had something imminent in mind for years now."

Sam looked between them, suspiciously. "What are you two talking about?"

Daniel started to speak again, but Teal'c put a hand on the younger man's shoulders. "I believe the imminence is up to O'Neill, and Major Carter. Perhaps you should leave well enough alone, Daniel Jackson."

Sam flushed even more. Did they know something? "We should probably get going," she finally told them, getting off her stool.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Yeah. Got to get Jack back to normal, as soon as possible. You know, for those possible imminent plans." Daniel commented loudly, following her, and Teal'c out of the lab.

"Shut up, Daniel!" Sam snapped. Part of her was secretly thrilled though, at the thought of Colonel O'Neill's possible 'imminent' plans. She sincerely hoped she was part of them. After the incident in the locker room earlier though, she was fairly certain she might be.


	4. Cat's Out of the Bag

**Disclaimer: Still not my characters.**

* * *

"I thought this would make Colonel O'Neill visible." General Hammond said at the debriefing when SG1, including a still invisible Colonel, returned from M4X-521.

"Yes, Daniel, I thought I was supposed to be visible after turning that little stone, doohickey thingamabob, and yet…" The arms of the uniform he was wearing spread out wide.

Daniel sat up straighter, looking incredibly frustrated. "Well, yeah. I mean, according to the text we translated, you should be. I don't understand why it didn't work."

Sam, who had been scribbling notes, and some sort of calculations on her notepad, looked up. "I think I might know why," she told them. She shifted slightly in her chair, her arm coming in contact with Jack's. He'd sat down so close to her, that he was practically on top of her. She briefly thought she wouldn't mind him being on top of her, if they were alone, preferably naked. She blushed, and dipped her head back to her notes, hoping no one had noticed. She had a feeling though that the Colonel had suspected something, as he swiveled his chair more to her, and his leg came in contact with hers, under the table. He didn't seem inclined to move it away, and in fact seemed to be pushing it further against hers.

General Hammond looked at her. If anyone could figure this out, he was fairly certain it would be Sam. "Major?"

Sam shook head to clear her thoughts. "Well, see, the effects of the machine didn't affect the Colonel right away when he became invisible, so it only makes sense that it wouldn't work right away to make him visible again."

Daniel looked at her. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that?"

"Yes, Daniel, why didn't you?" Jack asked. "Are you slipping in your old age?"

"I don't know," Daniel replied. "I'm sure you can tell me all about it though."

"Enough." Hammond told them. He didn't mind their lighthearted bickering for the most part, but he needed his Colonel visible, and wanted to know how soon he could expect that to happen. "You were saying, Major?"

Sam looked up again from her notes. She'd gotten so used to Jack and Daniel's back and forth that she didn't even really notice it any more, especially when she was doing calculations. "Well, General, based off of the time it took Colonel O'Neill to become invisible after touching the stones the first time, I'm guessing it might be the same in reverse."

Hammond nodded. "And do you know how long it might be before we can expect to see the Colonel's smiling face again?"

"You can't see it, General, but I'm smiling right now. Picture it. I'm showing teeth and everything," Jack told him.

Sam looked over toward Jack, and shook her head. The man was truly incorrigible, and she adored him for it. She stood, walked over to the white board close to the General's office, picked up an erasable marker, and began scribbling notes and equations that Jack was certain made perfect sense to her, and possibly one or two other people on the planet, but just looked like a bunch of random numbers, x's, and line graphs to him. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, he cut her off. "Carter, no offense to your, um, math skills, and whatever that is you've written, could we skip the particulars, and just give me a time?"

Sam should have been irritated, and would have been, had it been anyone other the Colonel, but she realized she wasn't. Tossing the marker back in its tray, she looked over her notes once more before speaking. "I'd say within the next twenty, to twenty-eight hours, Sir."

"I'm impressed, Carter," Jack told her. "You did that in less than fifteen words."

"Thank you, Sir. I try to make it so you can understand." She returned smartly.

One of the arms of Jack's uniform came to his chest, as though he were clutching it. "Ouch," he told her. "I gotta say, Carter, I'm kind of proud at this moment. I feel like you're really learning something from me."

Hammond was nodding, mostly to himself, and watching, the exchange between his own 2IC, and the best scientist he'd ever known. He was certain that one day they would burst into flames over each other. He hoped he both was and wasn't around when it finally happened. "Very well then," he told his flagship team. SG1 is off rotation, until the Colonel is fully visible again. Colonel, you are to report to Dr. Frasier, and no slipping out this time, without the Doctor's permission." Jack mumbled something, but General Hammond just ignored him. "Teal'c, SG-9 is headed to meet with the people of P3X-443 in 4 hours. Those people are quite friendly with some of the Jaffa who have left the Goa'uld. I'd like you to go with them. It might help if we show them that we have a Jaffa on our side too. It shouldn't take very long, as it's more of a diplomatic meeting, to help establish friendlier relationships."

Teal'c dipped his head. "I would be honored, General Hammond.

"Good. Dr. Jackson, SG-11 is going to M5X-661. From the MALP readings, it looks like there are plenty of ruins to examine. I'd like for you to go, as Dr. Purse is out sick. They leave in 2 hours."

Sam looked over, expectantly. When he said nothing, she asked, "And do you have anything for me, General?"

Hammond looked down at his notes. "Not at the moment, Major. I'm certain you have plenty of work in your lab to keep yourself occupied for at least the next 3 years. Besides, I'd like you here, in case we have a problem with the Colonel."

"Problem? What problem?" Jack asked, loudly. "Who said there was going to be a problem? What kind of problem? Daniel, are you not telling me something?"

Raising a hand, Hammond waved Jack down. "No one expects a problem, but if there is one, I'd like Major Carter to be the person on base to help out. Besides, she knows all your hiding spots, so should you slip away without permission, I'll let her search for you." Hammond told him, with a chuckle. "Okay, everyone has their mission. Dismissed."

SG1 exited the briefing room, and headed their respective ways. Sam walked along side Jack, toward the infirmary.

"Carter, you wouldn't really give me away if I decided to slip out, would you?" Jack asked.

She chuckled. "Well, now that you have to wear a uniform everyone can see, I think it will be a little more difficult than it was last time."

"I could always just run away naked," he commented.

Sam paused. The image of Colonel O'Neill, naked, did funny things to her insides. Damn him, for putting such thoughts in her brain. She shook her head to clear it. Fortunately, they were just coming to the infirmary, and she was spared commenting. "Here you go, Sir." She said as they walked through the door. "Janet, I've brought Colonel O'Neill safe, sound, and much more visible this time."

"Well, Colonel, it seems you won't be escaping so easily this time," the CMO told him.

Jack made a noise in the back of his throat that let them know of his displeasure.

* * *

Sam walked into the locker room, to find it empty. Colonel O'Neill was missing. Again. They'd found his uniform crumpled on his bed, with no sign of him. Daniel, and Teal'c had both come back earlier than expected, mostly due to inclement weather, on Daniel's part, so they were all searching. They still had about 2 hours before her estimated time for the invisibility to wear off, but she knew she couldn't be exact, and he needed to be found, before he became visible, fully naked. She let out a small whimper at the thought.

"Carter?" She heard the Colonel's voice coming from the showers.

"Sir!" She called as she walked toward him. "What are you doing? You know you're not supposed to leave the infirmary."

Jack snorted. "I just wanted a shower."

"They have showers there, you know," she scolded.

She could hear the sound of him toweling off. "I know, Carter, but…I wanted to be alone. I needed to think."

"You? Needed to think?" She laughed when she heard him snort.

"We've been over this, Carter."

Sam sighed. "I know, Sir, I'm just giving you a hard time. You know, like you did with me. The situation seems to have reversed."

"Interesting," was all he said. He pulled the shower curtain open, and looked at her.

Sam noticed that once again, he had to the towel wrapped around his waist, and her throat constricted. Damn it. "Um, you might want to get dressed, Sir," she told him, nervously. "The effects could be reversed at any minute, and you don't want to be caught in just a towel, do you?"

He considered her for a moment. "Depends on whom I'm with, I suppose."

"Sir?"

Stepping out of the shower, Jack took her hand, and pulled her toward him. She looked confused, and he smiled. A confused Carter was a rare, and beautiful sight. He took another step back, and brought her with him into the shower stall, closing the curtain behind them.

"Sir?" She asked again. Her stomach was suddenly in her throat, and her there was a rushing sound in her ears.

"C'mere," he told her, pulling her even closer, and placing a hand on the side of her face. "Listen, I don't pretend to know what's going on here, not that I do on a normal day, but since this has happened, I feel more free, if that makes sense."

Involuntarily, she leaned into his hand, and nuzzled it with her cheek. It was such a strange, and intimate feeling, and she relished in it. His hand was warm on her skin, and caused her pulse to speed up. When she started to speak, Jack put a finger over her lips.

"Shhhh," he told her. "Let me talk. I've been dreaming about this…you…me…forever to be honest, but now, I feel like-like I have a moment to make those fantasies come true."

"Fantasies?" Sam questioned, in a husky voice.

"Absolutely," he told her, before his mouth descended on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and leaned into him, her body fitting perfectly against his. Her lips were warm, and welcoming, and he sighed as she opened up to him.

Sam's world spun off its axis. She was pressed up against the warm, hard body, of an almost naked, if invisible, Jack O'Neill, and it was magnificent. He was magnificent. She opened her mouth to the warm lips pressed against hers, and a streak of pure pleasure shot through her as his tongue invaded her mouth. Her lower body involuntarily pressed further into him. She moaned into him when a hand snaked around, and grabbed her ass, to keep her pressed tightly against him. She could feel his erection pressing into her stomach, and it made her shiver. She was fairly certain, there would be no lasting effects on his sexual activities from the machine.

Her soft moans made Jack want to strip her down, push her into the wall, and sink into her warmth. He could feel his temperature rising, and increased the pressure of the kiss. Their teeth bumped a few times in their eagerness, and he thought it only made this stolen time more memorable. When she suddenly pulled back, he felt lost. "Sam?"

"Air," she mumbled, her hands playing with the hair at the back of his neck. She couldn't remember how long she'd wanted to run her fingers through his incredibly sexy hair. She had a brief moment, where she wondered how hair could be sexy, but she pushed it away, to concentrate on the moment.

"Ah," he said. "Let's see if this helps." His mouth met the skin, and the side of her jaw, and he kissed a searing trail down her neck.

Sam's head fell to one side, to give him better access. "Not at all," she panted, "but don't stop. Air is overrated."

Jack smiled against her skin, and kissed his way back up, took her earlobe between his teeth, and gave a gentle tug, before his tongue darted out, and traced the shell of her ear. "You are delicious, Sam."

"And are you?" She asked. Her voice was thick with want.

"You'd have to tell me." When her hands grasped his shoulders, he pulled away from her skin, and met her lips. She kissed him briefly, before mirroring his actions, and carving a path of kisses, and licks down his neck, and across his naked shoulders. Her hands roamed over his chest, and back, his body muscled, and firm beneath them. Her finger skimmed down, across one of his nipples, and he arched into her. He clearly liked that, so she did it again. His movements made her bolder, and she licked, and nipped down his chest, causing him to groan.

His body was on fire, and Jack was no longer sure which way was up. When she flicked her tongue over his nipple, his breath caught, and he thought he might die of sheer pleasure. She was fully clothed, and had him on the brink of ecstasy. He grabbed her head, and pulled it back up to his, crashing his lips back on hers. "Sam," he whispered against her lips, between scorching kisses.

A movement in the locker room made them both still. Sam's eyes widened with panic, and she pulled back. Jack put his hand over her mouth.

"Jack? Are you in here?"

Jack rolled his eyes. It would be Daniel. The heat he'd felt only seconds before fled. He cleared his throat. "Um, yeah. Just drying off. What's going on?"

"Well, you kind of went missing, you know," Daniel reminded him.

Several choice words came to Jack's mind, but he refrained from saying them out loud. Sam looked like she was about to faint, and all he could think of was getting Daniel away from the locker room. He leaned forward, and whispered, "Stay here. I'll take care of this." When she nodded, he leaned in and gave her one brief kiss. "I didn't go missing. I knew exactly where I was. Be out in just a sec," Jack called. While Daniel had certainly thrown the proverbial bucket of cold water over them, all of Jack's body hadn't quite gotten the message. "Almost done drying off." The truth was, he needed another shower to cool off after all that. The thought of wringing Daniel's neck with the towel gave Jack a sick sort of thrill, and succeeded in helping him get his body under control. He ran his thumb over Sam's lips, and stepped out of the shower stall, making sure to pull the curtain behind him.

"So, been looking for me?" He asked, walking over to his locker, to put on a clean uniform.

Despite the incredibly loud pounding of her heart in her ears, Sam could hear the forced jovialness of Jack's voice. She loved Daniel like a brother, but at that moment, wanted to tie him up, and lock him in a closet. She rested her head on her arm, pressed against the tile, and waited. Her body was still on fire, and she could still feel Jack's hands, and lips against her body. She could here Jack rustling around, and agreeing to go back to the infirmary with Daniel. When their footsteps retreated, she made herself wait another 5 minutes before leaving the locker room, and making a break for her lab.

Forty-five minutes later, Sam had accomplished nothing, other than staring at the wall, and decided she should probably head down to the infirmary to see if the Colonel had become visible yet. She wasn't exactly sure what had happened between the two of them, well, she knew what happened, she just wasn't…sure. Either way, she had to face him sooner or later, and decided she might as well get it over with.

* * *

Jack sat on the bed, staring daggers at Daniel. Not that Daniel could tell, of course, but it made Jack feel better. He'd thought of all sorts of bodily damage he could inflict on the younger man. Sure, Daniel had bulked up in the past few years, but Jack had spent much of his life in the military, and was more than certain he could take Daniel out. He was pretty certain Teal'c would say it was justified.

"Hey!" Daniel shouted, pulling Jack out of his menacing thoughts. "I think you're coming back!"

"Huh?"

Daniel motioned, "Look, I can see part of your arm."

"Indeed, I believe you are correct, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c agreed.

Thank god. Jack was getting tired of the two of them just sitting in his little corner of the infirmary waiting. Daniel had tried chatting, at first, but when Jack didn't respond, he eventually gave up. It appeared miracles did exist. Jack looked down, and there was the outline of his left arm, after a few moments, he could see the outline of the rest of his body, and watched in fascination, as it slowly began to fill in with color. "Well, what do you know," he said, when he was fully visible again. "What?" He asked Daniel, who was staring at him curiously. "Am I not all here?" There was no mirror, so he couldn't check.

"No," Daniel said, slowly. "You're all here."

"Then, what?"

"It is nothing, O'Neill," Teal'c assured him.

Daniel shook his head, a goofy grin on his face. "Nope, nothing. Nothing at all."

Jack raised an eyebrow. The grin made him uneasy, but it was the bemused expression on Teal'c's face that had him really concerned. "What? Seriously."

They could hear Carter's voice, talking to one of the nurses. She was probably coming to check on him. She'd been almost on the money time wise, as far as his visibility was concerned.

Teal'c put his hand on Daniel's arm, and hauled him out of the chair. "I believe we need to go inform General Hammond, that O'Neill is himself again."

Daniel looked confused. "Huh? What? Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah. We do." He turned to Jack, the grin firmly back in place. "See you later."

They passed Sam on their way out. "How's the Colonel?" She asked.

"Completely visible," Daniel assured her.

She smiled. "Well, that's great. Where are you headed?"

"We are going to inform General Hammond of O'Neill's recovery," Teal'c told her.

Daniel nodded, and headed toward the door. Before stepping out though, he turned back around. "Hey, Sam, that's a nice shade of lipstick on you."

"Um, thanks?" She offered. She saw Teal'c's hand come out and punch Daniel in the upper arm, nearly sending Daniel to the floor.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Daniel asked.

"You know perfectly well, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c told him, dragging him quickly down the hall.

Shaking her head, Sam walked over to the Colonel's curtained off area. He was sitting on the bed, looking down, at his hands. She smiled brightly, at the sight of him. "Good to see you again, Si-" The words died in her throat when he looked up. "Oh, my god," she gasped, her eyes wide.

"What? What is wrong with me?" Jack asked. "Daniel and Teal'c acted weird too. Did that machine do something to me." When she didn't move, but continued to stare at him in horror, Jack snapped his fingers. "Carter! Hey, Carter. What is going on? Screw this." He jumped off the bed. "I'm going to go find a mirror."

"No!" Sam put a hand out to stop him. "You can't go out there."

Jack cocked his head to the side. "Tell me what's wrong then."

"Stay here," she instructed. "I'll be right back."

"Do I still have my hair?" Jack called behind her. What the hell was wrong with them?

Sam was back in just a moment, with a hand mirror, which she gave to him silently, before dropping into the chair Daniel had vacated, and looked at the floor.

Holding the mirror down, Jack wasn't certain he wanted to look, but knew he had to. He took a deep breath, and lifted the mirror, so he could see what was wrong. He saw his reflection, and noted nothing out of the ordinary, except…he looked closer. Except an obvious trail of lipstick along his neck, in the exact pale shade Carter was wearing. "Son of a bitch," he muttered, before looking over at her. "I guess the cat's out of the bag, eh?"

 **Fin**

 **Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it!**


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